RHUBARB, RHUBARB, RHUBARB

 

I've had a bit of a disaster today on the home cooking front.

This morning, after dropping The Old Girl off at work as it was raining heavily, I shopped at the supermarket on the way home. Picking up some fruit and vegetables I spied some rhubarb and bought a stack of it. I like stewed rhubarb on breakfast cereal or in a fruit sponge.

At home I later cleaned and chopped the rhubarb stems, put them in a large saucepan with a few tablespoons of water and a few teaspoons of sugar, put the lid on, set to cook at a medium heat and ... forgot about it.

A half hour or so later I wondered about the cooking smells and remembered the rhubarb. I found that the saucepan had almost boiled dry and that burnt rhubarb was stuck to the bottom. At some stage the mixture had boiled over and rhubarb 'sauce' had coated the outside and bottom of the saucepan... and the SMEG induction cooktop. Bummer.

I salvaged a couple of small containers of the stewed rhubarb (at the top) and set about cleaning up the mess. The mess was sticky and rapidly hardening so I scraped (with a plastic spatula) what I could from the bottom of the pan and then rinsed it and have left to soak in a 'bath' of bleach, detergent and water.

I wiped down the cooktop with warm water and a bit of detergent and then gently used the plastic spatula to scrape away the crusted rhubarb juice. Fortunately I had only used a couple of teaspoons of sugar in the mixture so it's not like concrete. I got it all off to my standard but ... my standards in no way reach The Old Girl's very high and exacting standards. I'm in trouble. What could further go wrong?

The saucepan! It's a Jamie Oliver one that she likes. She likes it very much unfortunately. I looked at it again and, even while squinting my eyes it still looked bad. Bummer again. I looked up the Briscoes website to see about buying a replacement. They are out of stock of this 3.2 quart model. To make things worse even smaller ones start at $300 each!

I then looked at the cooktop and "even while squinting my eyes it still looked bad". Bummer for the third time.

I looked up 'cleaning induction cooktops' on the internet and came across a 'recipe' of a mixture of baking soda and water that can be gently rubbed on to the offending area. I'm going to try that.

While on-line I looked up 'cleaning saucepans of burnt fruit' and again found a 'recipe' of baking soda, detergent and white wine vinegar that can be heated in the pot. I'm going to try that after its bleach bath.

Why do these things happen to me?

SO NOW YOU KNOW

The more observant reader will have noticed that TC mentioned in a post yesterday that he was going to make a bacon and egg pie for dinner.

Well, that was the plan and I was delegated to the task but his sister called and invited him around to dinner so he did that and the bacon and egg pie plan was put off until today.

So now you know.

I will be preparing the pie today and will soon take some 'bacon' out of the freezer. I say 'bacon' but, as you know I use Tegel chicken rashers instead of the usual pork bacon. I find the chicken version less fatty and, while not necessarily good for you they are made from 100% NZ free range chicken with no added hormones. which is a lot better than the mostly imported pork bacon that is stuffed with preservatives and bulked out with water.

Anyway - moving on.

The Old Girl is in Christchurch which means that, when making this bacon and egg pie I can put in things that she disapproves of. Bacon or chicken rashers is a given as are eggs obviously which meet her approval but I like to add peas, red onion, capsicum, spring onion etc jazzed up with some chilli sauce. 

"That's not the way you make a bacon and egg pie" she tells me which always reminds me of that old 1990s television commercial on Uncle Toby's instant porridge and which always annoyed her.

INGREDIENTS

1 Tbsp olive oil
1 red onion, finely sliced

2 spring onions sliced

1 red capsicum diced

1/2 cup frozen peas, carrots and corn

2 sheets of puff pastry
6 eggs
4 chicken rashers, chopped
Tbsp sweet chilli sauce

2 tsps chilli garlic paste

¼ cup tomato relish or chutney

Salt and pepper

Worcester sauce

INSTRUCTIONS

Preheat oven to 180°C fan bake.
Add the olive oil to a frying pan. On a medium heat, sauté the red onion, capsicum and spring onion for 5 to 10 minutes until soft.
In a large bowl whisk together 2 of the eggs with the sweet chilli sauce,  and garlic chilli paste and season well with salt and pepper.
Line the base and sides of a large baking dish with  puff pastry sheets. Pour in the egg mixture. Scatter in the chopped bacon, cooked vegetables and the peas mixture.
Crack the other 4 eggs directly on top, use a fork to break the yolks if desired. Add a splash of Worcester sauce.
Place morer pastry  on top of the pie and seal the sides. Brush any extra egg from the bowl over the top of the pastry.
Bake for 50 minutes until golden and cooked through.
Leave to sit for 10 minutes before serving

This is an adapted version of a VJ Cooks recipe I found on the internet thingy. Thanks VJ.

"No problem TFC"

LESS IS MORE MATEY!

 The Old Girl's away at present so I've got the house to myself for a couple of months.

Amongst other things this means that I can be a bit more creative when cooking.

When I cook dinner for The Old Girl I have to 'stick to the recipe' as she can be a bit of a purist and often tells me off for adding too many things to the dishes I make.

"Less is more Matey" she says after turning her nose up at the addition of plum sauce, sweet chili sauce, cubed potatoes and most of the contents of the herb drawer when making my Bolognese sauce.

She pretty much told me this last night on our nightly FaceTime call when I told her of the excellent noodle dish I'd made - a kind of variant on Singapore noodles.

Kind of like this

I'd decided on a shrimp stir fry and pre-prepared sliced spring onion, chopped red and green capsicum, chopped garlic, 'Julienned' carrots and zucchini and frozen peas,  shrimps and red chilli from the freezer. I also took out of the freezer a very small pottle of chicken stock. This had written on the lid 'Stock - Me' which identifies stock that The Old Girl makes which is superior to the Campbell's stock we often use and freeze any left over from cooking.

Anyway, once I had everything set out (when making a stir fry it works best to quickly flash fry everything to keep the vegetables crisp. This means having everything prepared and ready to be tossed into the wok) I set about making the dish. I sauteed the garlic in olive oil and added the shrimps spring onion and red chilli to quickly cook through. I took these out of the pan and added sliced carrots and zucchini with the peas and added soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and a dash of Worcester sauce quickly whisking these around before reaching for the thawed out chicken stock. "Funny" I thought "that stock looks quite yellow." I added it anyway, returned the shrimp, spring onion and chillies and stirred through. I tasted it to check on the seasonings and was surprised at how fruity and tangy it was. It then dawned on me that the 'stock' I had used was actually lemon juice. When I'd juiced a whole lot of lemons a while ago I'd frozen the juice in ice cube trays but also remembered that I'd put some in a small plastic pottle. In my usual haste I hadn't changed the wording on the lid. Never mind - it tasted good.

I heated through a packet of noodles in a bowl of boiling water, drained them and decided to mix these through the mixture to fully coat them. As the mixture was already fruity I added a half a cupful of mixed nuts and fruits I had as snacks in the pantry and gave the pan a quick burst of heat adding a little more teriyaki sauce and some sweet chilli sauce. The result was outstanding. This will be a go to dish for me in the future. Not for the Old Girl though.

"Less is more Matey"

CHILLI

 I decided to make chilli today - for dinner tonight and with several portions to freeze for later. The red chillies fresh off the vine are looking good and I had some lamb mince in the freezer so ...

Sautéed onion, spring onion, garlic, ginger, chillies, a splash of Worcester sauce, bit of soy sauce, oregano and basil, grated carrot, canned tomatoes and can of red kidney beans and - Está poca madre!

I prepared this early to  allow the flavours to meld while the chilli is sitting in the pot (heat off). I'm looking forward to this with rice tonight and maybe a glass of red wine.

PLANT BASED DIETING - I'LL BE GOLDEN

I've mentioned before how The Old Girl and I while not being vegetarians, don't eat much meat. Our cooking is usually dominated by the use of vegetables, grains, nuts, legumes and beans with fish and meat as a side rather than the main feature.

On average we use meat or fish about once every third meal. The meat we use is predominately chicken and the fish salmon for her and snapper or terakahi for me. If we do cook with red meat it is lamb either as mince, shanks or fillets. I guess that this would only be about one meal in a dozen at most. We have been gradually reducing use of meat including chicken for a while now but this has been accelerated after watching the food documentary series on Netflix - 'You are what you eat'.

After this we have cut out all processed meats from our diet - ham, bacon, salami, sausages etc. and accelerated our weaning off from beef, lamb and even chicken. Since using soy and oat milk products for some years now, our dairy intake is limited but we still might look to reduce our cheese usage even though it isn't that high. The challenge will be in sourcing viable and tasty alternatives. The final outcome might be, while not vegan, having a plant based diet with the occasional use of meat and dairy.

A plant-based diet focuses on foods primarily from plants. This includes not only fruits and vegetables, but also nuts, seeds, oils, whole grains, legumes, and beans. It doesn't mean that we will be vegetarian or vegan as we will still eat some meat and dairy. Rather, we are increasingly choosing more from plant sources. 

The benefits of a plant-based diet are:

Health Benefits.

Heart Health: Plant-based diets have been linked to a lower risk of heart disease.
Weight Management: People following a plant-based diet tend to have a lower body mass index (BMI).
Diabetes Prevention and Control: Plant-based diets can improve blood sugar control and can sometimes even reverse type 2 diabetes.
Cancer Risk: Certain plant-based diet components can reduce the risk of developing cancer.
Gut Health: High-fibre foods prevalent in plant-based diets can promote gut health.

Environmental Benefits

Reduced Carbon Footprint: Plant-based diets generally require less energy from fossil fuels, less land, and less water to produce.
Biodiversity: Reducing meat consumption can decrease the demand for land used for meat production, thus lowering the impact on biodiversity.

Nutritional Considerations

Protein: It's a common concern, but plenty of plant foods are rich in protein (e.g., beans, lentils, chickpeas, tofu, and quinoa).
Vitamins and Minerals: Certain nutrients, like Vitamin B12, Vitamin D, omega-3 fatty acids, iron, and calcium, may be more challenging to obtain in a plant-based diet and might require supplementation or careful planning.
Fibre: Plant-based diets are high in fibre, which is beneficial for digestive health and can help prevent various diseases.

The Netflix series we watched was set in USA which, while being so far behind New Zealand in food standards and environmental controls, with hideous factory-based meat and dairy production still, with such a large population in cities has developed affordable, nutritious and flavoursome alternatives to meat, milks, cheeses, breads and even eggs. Unfortunately, in New Zealand the alternatives are either tasteless and crap or hellishly expensive. Our primary industries of meat and dairy production being so dominant, don't as yet allow successful alternative experimentation and production to effectively reach supermarket shelves - certainly not outside of the major cities where we live.

For some years now I make my own bread (several loaves a week) and purchase my ingredients from Bin Inn which is a bulk provider of wholefoods and specialty groceries like flours, grains, nuts, cereals and 'healthy' foods. In addition to the bread mixes I often buy dried fruits and nuts and other things for the pantry - herbs and spices, breakfast cereals and mueslis, for example. I'm waiting for Bin Inn to expand into cheese alternatives, and  vegetarian meat alternatives.

We are quite a long way down this road, certainly ahead of some but still need to learn how to create or find products that while healthy are also nutritious and tasty. We need to plan ahead more to make sure we're getting a balanced diet. Living a bit out in the country doesn't help as I tend to do one shop a week in town so buy all of my fresh fruit and vegetables in one go. This is a challenge in summer in keeping them fresh. I will need to build new planters and grow fresh and perishable salad vegetables.

I really can only see the upside for us as we rarely eat takeaway food, seldom eat out and, as I said don't eat that much meat to the point where, if we stopped completely it wouldn't be a biggie. It would be good though, if soon we were able to make or buy wholefood plant based products that replicated the things we're used to like cheese, 'hamburger' patties and chicken. We will continue to eat fish though until such time, if ever, our seafood producers hit the rock bottom (pun intended) that overseas producers have.

Heigh ho heigh ho - in the words of Joni Mitchell it's "back to the garden".

I'll be able to wear those new gumboots that Richard likes so much.

WELL I'VE GOT THE BEETROOT ...

... and the carrots but - no green apples.

With The Old Girl away I'd kind of planned out the things I was going to cook for myself. Some of the dishes 'planned' are Nicoise salad, Caesar salad, pizza, stir fry, Kaimai steak KAIMAI, bacon and egg pie, fish and chips, stuffed potatoes, beetroot salad and orange and kumara pasta.

It's the last two that I've run into a problem with.

Northland has a problem with the supply of apples and kumara. The kumara stocks and replanting were last year decimated by Cyclone Gabriel and the other bad weather and Hawks Bay orchards were devastated by the same. Nowhere can I find either.

I need the apple - Granny Smith green apple for my beetroot, apple and carrot salad with pomegranate molasses as a dressing.

Yummy!

I've got the beetroot and carrot - here's a pic of these for the meat eaters down south ... 

... but the salad just won't be the same without the apple.

The other dish that I'm thwarted by lack of ingredient for is Pasta Siciliana which I've made many times and absolutely love.

Unfortunately I cannot make it without kumara (I use golden kumara). I don't see potato as a viable alternative.

Bummer!

SUCH A PERFECT DAY

 It's Lynn's birthday today and we've had a cracker of a day - the best of the summer so far.

Morning walks before it got too hot and a visit from my sister and husband, their daughter and her husband and their new 8 week old baby boy Zac filled the day nicely for an old Gruncle like me.

I've pre-prepared dinner (salmon, shrimp and zucchini pie with salad) and the pie will go in the oven soon.

Lynn (The Old Girl) and I just shared a bottle of Veuve Cliquot Rose while playing a best of three at pool (I won - hey! It's not as if it's a significant birthday date yet) and listening to a random selection of blues and jazz music. It's times like these that make me glad we bought the snooker table and dedicated a room to it. The room (the pool room see video) is also the music room where the stereo, records and cd's are housed. Great.

WHO'S UP FOR SOME GNOCCHI?

 

Not that! I typed 'gnocchi'.

I make home-made gnocchi from time to time. Tonight I'm preparing kumara gnocchi in a garlic cream sauce. Yum!

I got the recipe some time ago from a New World supermarket but you can find it on-line as well. In case Richard wants to show off to his Italian guest here's some info on making it.

Maybe a bottle of Rockford sparkling shiraz will go well with it.

THE GOURMET

I really like Tony Hancock comedy, whether in the TV show format or the radio shows.

I listened to this today and in a way it made me think of sitting down to dinner in a restaurant with Richard and Robert.

I see myself as Hancock with Richard as Sid James and Robert as Bill Kerr.

See (or listen) what you think.

OKONOMIYAKI

Years ago, when we were living in Christchurch, one of The Old Girl's associates, Lindsay who's wife and he has become good friends of ours and she would once a month meet up for a meal and a glass of wine in the city. They discovered a great Japanese restaurant - the name of which I can't remember and it probably ended up under tonnes of rubble seeing that it was in the 'danger zone' - which we used to go to. It was one of those interesting Japanese eateries where you can sit at a 'bar' and have drinks while the chef, in front of you, cooked on tremendously hot and large griddles producing fantastic dishes amidst shooting flames, steam and sizzling sounds.

Teppanyake style

One of our favourite dishes at this restaurant and one that was new to us was okonomiyake, which is a Japanese 'street food' type of pancake made with vegetables, rice flour, eggs and seafood - usually prawns. Every time we went there, as well as sampling other delectable dishes we would default to okonomiyake.

After leaving Christchurch in about 2000 we went to many other Japanese restaurants in Auckland, Wellington, Australia, NYC, Toronto, York and  London but never again discovered okonomiyake or at least not anything like the dish that enthralled us in Christchurch. We did come across variants in cafes but they were pale imitations.

We tried to make it ourself at home on occasions but without a recipe (we did search) it was a bit hit or miss.

On Monday The Old Girl had to go down to Auckland and stayed overnight with the lovely Ilse and Lindsay who - surprise surprise had discovered a recipe for okonomiyake. Obviously Lindsay had been going through withdrawal as well. The recipe that she discovered is by the outstanding and favourite of mine ,Annabel Langbein whose recipes I follow with relish. Well, not with relish unless that was one of her recipes ( a pedantic old schoolteacher joke there).

Ilse cooked the pancakes for Lynn, them and their son on Monday night but also made two extra pancakes for Lynn to bring home with her. We warned these up and had with salad last night. Outstanding and very reminiscent of the pancakes we had in that Christchurch restaurant  nearly 30 years ago. I'll be cooking these in the near future - that's for damned sure. 

I hope that you can read the recipe and recommend trying it out. We used Hoisin sauce on top with some Japanese mayonnaise.

COOK OFF!

 We've* noticed the rise of television cooking competitions and the influence these have on the general populace. Even the old bloggers in this community pepper (see what I did there?) their posts with mention of meals they have made or are about to. Robert the inconvenient sinner is the champignon, sorry, champion here.

We* thought it opportune to have a little cooking competition amongst the primary bloggers - Richard of Richard's Bass Bag, Robert the inconvenient sinner and moi representing The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ.

Robert was charged with the responsibility of finding a suitable venue and ensuring attendance by a non-partisan public to taste and rate the dishes.

Here's how the competition works:

The contestants have each chosen a dish that shows what type of food they prefer and to demonstrate their culinary proficiency. Before unveiling (or unwrapping) their chosen dish a short interview with them will be conducted by an independent food critic and religious person (they are honest aren't they?) Pastor Usebydate.

Pastor Usebydate: First up we have Richard of Richard's Bass Bag. Hello Richard.

Richard of RBB: Hello Pastor You're pleased to be here.

Pastor Usebydate: Mmmm ..... right. Are you a pescatarian by any chance?

Richard of RBB: No, I'm a pissartist. Why do you ask?

Pastor Usebydate: It's just that you reference a fish in your blog title ......

Richard of RBB: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Pastor Usebydate: Ha ha ha ha ha ha .... I thought you'd like that. We religious people like to have a laugh.

Richard of RBB: (sotto voce) Yes at everyone's expense.

Pastor Usebydate: What's that son?

Richard of RBB: I said "I must repent"

Pastor Usebydate: Yes, well, there's still time. Tell us something about your meal choice today?

Richard of RBB: My inspiration comes from a dish I developed on my first OE ...

Pastor Usebydate: OE?

Richard of RBB: Yes, overseas experience back in 1975 when ...

Pastor Usebydate: You went overseas in 1975?

Richard of RBB: Er .... well, I went to Christchurch and had to go by ferry. Anyway, while there I invented a dish that even The Curmudgeon liked when he visited.

Pastor Usebydate: The Curmudgeon visited you?

Richard of RBB: Well yes. He was really in Christchurch to buy wine and stayed with Tony and Jan but I guess he got hungry and kind of hung around my place during the day.

Pastor Usebydate: Aha! But didn't you have a female friend staying at that time who was quite attractive?

Richard of RBB: Yes, that was .... hey! Are you suggesting that The Curmudgeon wasn't calling around just for my food and company?

Pastor Usebydate: Well, not your company anyway. So, you invented a dish?

Richard of RBB: (sulking) Whatever.

Pastor Usebydate: Okeedokee ..... we'll look forward to that dish being unveiled later. Good luck Richard of Richard's Bass Bag.

***************

Pastor Usebydate: Next up we have Robert the inconvenient sinner who ..... Robert, why do you go by the name Robert the inconvenient sinner?

Robert the inconvenient sinner: I don't.

Pastor Usebydate: You don't?

Pastor Usebydate: No. I call myself Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner. It's those other guys who make fun of my name and change it to other things.

Pastor Usebydate: I just think that they're being kind eh. (looking at the camera and waggling his eyebrows and softly saying 'Sheesh').

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: Whatever.

Pastor Usebydate: Okeedokee, we'd best move on. Tell me Robert ... the whatever, what inspired your dish creation today?

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: Jesus.

Pastor Usebydate: Jesus?

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: Yes Jesus. I like Jesus. I like to eat Jesus. I like ....

Pastor Usebydate: Yes, that'll be enough of that thank you. We're talking about your culinary inspiration today.

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: Huh. My colono .... sorry, no, those are gravy stains.

Pastor Usebydate: Huh? Oh, I see (and cannot unsee). Whatcha cooking today Rob?

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: Ah. Well, you know that I like to cook right? I like to cook left as well ......

Pastor Usebydate: ..............

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: ...... that was a little joke.

Pastor Usebydate: Was it? Well, put it away and tell us about your dish.

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: (embarrassed) Umm, I like to cook vegetarian dishes with a twist.

Pastor Usebydate: A twist?

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: Yes, a twist. I like to use meat ....

Pastor Usebydate: .... In your vegetarian dishes?

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: Yes. Anything with two or four feet - pork, beef, lamb, mutton, chicken, - Duck!

Pastor Usebydate: Duck?

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: Yes ... DUCK!  My bird just got out of the cage. Have you seen a cockatoo Pastor?

Pastor Usebydate: Hey! What are you implying I .... oh, I see. No.

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: Well I'd better clean up the mess that bird made.

Pastor Usebydate: OK Robert. Good luck with the competition.

***********************

Pastor Usebydate: Well that was interesting.** We've just got time to talk to The Food Curmudgeon who is representing The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ. Welcome The Food Curmudgeon.

The Food Curmudgeon: Hi Pastor. Do you find that title confusing given your position as food critic?

Pastor Usebydate: Huh?

The Food Curmudgeon: Never mind.

Pastor Usebydate: (glowering) What inspired you with your selection today?

The Food Curmudgeon: Well, lots of things really. I love food, all types of food. I love Japanese food, Chinese, Italian, French, Spanish - all food. In New Zealand we've developed recipes and food ideas from around the world ....

Pastor Usebydate: OK, now we'd ....  

The Food Curmudgeon: To live a full life, you have to fill your stomach first.

Pastor Usebydate: Yes, but we'd ....

The Food Curmudgeon: Cheese is the glue that holds my life together.

Pastor Usebydate: Right. Now, moving on ....

The Food Curmudgeon: People who love to eat are always the best people.

Pastor Usebydate: Look Curmudgeon I've ....

The Food Curmudgeon: Patience is the secret to good food

Pastor Usebydate: Christ ... I mean 'Crikey'.

The Food Curmudgeon: Hunger is a good cook.

Pastor Usebydate: MOVE ALONG PLEASE!

The Food Curmudgeon: Don’t be upsetti, eat some spaghetti.

Pastor Usebydate: Sheesh!

The Food Curmudgeon: Sorry - you were saying?

Pastor Usebydate: How do you think you will fare (see what I did there?) in the competition?

The Food Curmudgeon: Not very well.

Pastor Usebydate: What? I thought you claimed that you are a good cook?

The Food Curmudgeon: I did and I am but have you seen the venue that Robert selected and have you seen his choice of voting public? They look like they haven't eaten in years.

Pastor Usebydate: Oh well. Good luck on the day

The Food Curmudgeon: (sulking) Whatever.

*********************

The Venue: Hutt Park Hotel chosen for its convenient location according to Robert.

The Judges: 40 of the Saturday lunchtime patrons.

The results: 

First Richard of Richard's Bass Bag with 27 votes.

Second Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner with 13 votes.

Third The Food Curmudgeon with no votes.

The dishes:

Richard of Richard's Bass Bag: 

- Baked beans with cheese on toast.

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner:

- Mince and pasta with bacon and mushrooms, Wattie's sauce and wedges, McCains reconstituted mashed potato, rice risotto, Pam's frozen peas and corn, roast lamb, pig's trotters and beef burgers. A slice of lemon on top to give a 'Tuscan' flavour. 

The Food Curmudgeon:

 - Pear, walnut & blue cheese tart with whole truffle roast celeriac with cheese sauce & hazelnuts.

*******************

Pastor Usebydate: Now that was interesting. The people have chosen Richard's dish as the winner. Congratulations Richard. Was that a surprise to you as well.

Richard of Richard's Bass Bag: No, not really. As you know Richard's Bass Bag is  the original bass bagging site and so we cook meals that no one else would ever consider. Hey .... can someone open a window in here...

Pastor Usebydate: Robert - well done on second placing (that's natural I guess being your default position and even your name at one time if I recall). How do you feel about the competition?

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner: I think I overdid it with the lemon.

Pastor Usebydate: Food Curmudgeon. You came last. What did you ...

The Food Curmudgeon: Sheesh!

Pastor Usebydate: Whatever.

* The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ




** NOT.

AN INDULGENCE

 Not one of these silly things that nearly scuppered the Catholic Church back in the sixteenth century.

The Old Girl cooked duck risotto last night.

She makes this by slow cooking duck pieces (breast, legs) in a slow-cooker. She then drains off the juices and fat and shreds the meat to mix in with risotto she makes from arborio rice. Yummy.

She uses the juices to make duck stock which we freeze and use later in soups, stews and casseroles.

We used to pour off the fat but recently she's taken to separating this and using for duck-fat chips. Duck-fat chips, if you are unfamiliar with them are a must-have delicacy in restaurants and well worth trying. Today for lunch I used some left-over cooked potatoes which I cut into small chunks and sautéed in the duck fat. I also fried an egg in the fat and had this on a thick slice of toast from the home-made wholemeal bread  that I had baked yesterday. Wowee!

I don't recommend eating like this too often as the calorie intake is whopping but as a treat, as an indulgence if you will, it's a wonder that Martin Luther doesn't come knocking at the door.

"I smell duck fat. Let me in."

A WORD FROM THE WISE(GUY)

 The other day I made a pasta sauce that was so delicious it will become my 'go to' sauce in the future.

It was from Annabel Langbein's cooking book More Taste Than Time which we've had for many years. The dish was named simply 'Pasta Siciliana'

I've never met Annabel but I did know her sister Prue at university.

As you can see the recipe is simple and the cooking time very short but the explosion of flavour from the combination of kumara, orange juice and the herbs is outstanding. The orange cuts through the otherwise heaviness of the tomato flavour.  One orange was all iI needed and I only used half of a medium sized golden kumara which was enough when cubed. I grated Colby cheese together with Parmesan for the topping. While the kumara, orange juice and pureed tomatoes were simmering I quickly sautéed some pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and pine-nuts in a pan with some orange and chilli oil. These were crunchy and added the 'wow; factor to the dish.I really recommend this as it's fresh, flavoursome and healthy and any fool can make it.

I know that Richard will like it and Robert could slaughter a pig or a lamb or something to add to it.

FISH TACOS

 That 'Food, Glorious Food' post by The Curmudgeon reminded me that I haven't written a post for a while. Mea Culpa or, as Richard might say - "il vecchio gatto annusa il sedere del cane" - or something like that.

I've obviously cooked some delicious meals over the last two months using tried and true recipes but one variation stands out.

The Old Girl likes it when I prepare tacos for dinner. These are crispy tacos heated in the oven and then filled with layers of a hot bean mix (red kidney beans fried with garlic and chillies), tomatoes, cheese, lettuce and spring onion. It is a delicious meal and leaves you feeling good afterwards.

A couple of weeks ago - a Friday, Robert - I varied this by substituting the bean mix with a fish one. I cubed some snapper into very small pieces and covered in seasoned flour. This I pan-fried quickly with diced capsicum, chilli, garlic, ginger and some Jalapenos. I proceeded to put the tacos together the same way as the bean ones but left out the cheese. The result? Fabulous. This is going on the list.

A GUT REACTION

 Years ago, in Wellington I lived for a year in a household of vegetarians which, at the time, was a novel concept having been used to 'meat and two veg' eating for years. I leant to cook without meat which serves me well today. See: HERE

I'm not a vegan or a vegetarian and don't preach to others about the benefits of healthy eating ... but ..... a good friend of ours died a few years ago, at a young age, from bowel cancer. 
Bowel cancer is the second highest cause of cancer death in New Zealand but it is treatable and beatable if detected early enough. A diet that is low in fats and animal product is advised.

So where is this going?

On Robert's blog he finishes each post with a note of what he has cooked or is about to cook for dinner. 

There is a disturbing amount of meat, including fatty meat like lamb and pork mentioned

I looked back on a month's worth of posts (most recent back to a calendar month ago) and can report here his evening meal choices.

"Lamb roast."

"As I put my hand out to receive this very special Sacrament the lady gave me two hosts! I've never received two Jesus' before. My first thought was maybe I could spit one out and take it home to Sue. Then I remembered back to when I had the job of handing out the Eucharist, I recalled the priest eating any left over hosts. I swallowed both and sat back at my pew."

"Chicken, brussel (sic) sprouts and those mushroom things."

"Fish burgers with extra fish! (Sue had oysters and didn't want all of hers)."

"Rissoles, spuds and peas."

"Lamb roast for dinner."

"Hot dogs for dinner."

Roast dinner.

"Lamb roast dinner."

"Scotch eggs and veges."

"Fish and chips."

"Chicken and veges."

"Chicken and mushroom pasta"

"Chicken and veges." Bizarrely in a pst titled 'Animals Matter'

"Lamb chop and veges."

"Sushi and flied rice."

"Chicken rissoles and indian (sic) peas and cauliflower and spuds with gravy."


I did think that he consumed more pork (not a deliberate pun although the little critters might be tasty) but that must have been in previous month's posts.

The more observant reader will note that Robert includes 'veges' in most of the meals mentioned. It's worrying though that he doesn't define which vegetables he cooks and he might be like my sister who thinks adequate vegetables intake is chips and frozen peas.

I do take my hat off to him though in his choice of sushi which he made himself I believe. I don't know what 'flied' rice is though unless it suggests that he dropped the pan when cooking it.

Balance in our eating habits is the thing. For every meat based dish we consume we should give our guts a break and eat vegetable based or vegetarian dishes for at least the next two meals.

I'M GNOCCHI-DING - THIS IS GOOD

 I like gnocchi and often order it in restaurants. The restaurant in the new Hundertwasser Art Centre  does a particularly nice spinach and ricotta one with a mushroom, pinenuts and roasted artichoke cream sauce. Yummy.

Whenever I've bought pre-made gnocchi from the supermarket I've been disappointed. I've done this because I thought that making gnocchi from scratch was complicated. I was wrong.

I found this recipe on-line and gave it a go last night.

INGREDIENTS

500 g cottage or ricotta cheese ( I used ricotta)

2 cups plain flour + extra as needed

100 g parmesan, grated

6 eggs

Small handful each parsley and basil, chopped

2 tsp sea salt

Tomatoes for topping (optional)

DIRECTIONS

Mix the gnocchi ingredients together in a big bowl to form a soft, just-sticky dough. Don’t over mix. Turn out onto a well-floured surface.
Divide dough into six portions, then roll each into a 3cm-thick log. Cut into 2cm lengths, dusting the little pillows with flour as you go.
Bring a large pot of salted water to a rolling boil. Cook gnocchi in batches, dropping handfuls of the little dumplings into the water and cooking for 4-5 minutes only (they will sink then rise to the surface), removing with a slotted spoon and transferring them directly to serving plates.
To serve, add a splash or olive oil and some chopped basil or parsley or tomatoes to the dumplings.
Serve with grated parmesan and a squeeze of lemon juice.

I cut the recipe in half using 250 gms of ricotta and only 3 eggs and this was still enough for dinner and lunch today for the two of us.

I made a sauce of lemon and fennel infused olive oil, pesto and lemon juice, mixed this through the cooked gnocchi and topped with some good Parmesan cheese. 

The result was excellent and delicious and will now become a staple dish. Once I've 'mastered' the basics of a dish I then experiment with different ingredients. I'll try using combinations of pumpkin, potato, spinach, smoked salmon,  with different herbs and sauces in future.

PLEASE SIR - I WANT SOME MORE ...

 

The trouble with going to Wellington for two weeks each month - and not just having to listen to Robert complain about the fancy-schmancy surroundings and high prices of Richard's favourite Petone pub - is that it throws my food provisioning out of whack.

No sooner do I get back home I'm planning to go back down to Wellington. As I live a wee bit away from the shops (half an hour) I tend to do supermarket shopping once a week. This means now, as I'm away for 2 weeks, I have to make sure that the fridge is empty of fresh and non-frozen items. A couple of days before I leave there is often nothing enticing to eat so last night I bought a Hawaiian burger at the local takeaway place. Boy was this a disappointment. The fish and the chips there are great but this burger was the pits. Instead of a nice home-made burger patty like I'm used to (The Old Girl makes a fantastic lamb burger) this one had a thin, flat, processed patty that had no flavour and was like chewing putty. Crap! I won't be buying another of these.

I've cobbled together breakfast and lunch ( weetbix and a toasted potato hash brown) which was boring as I haven't baked a fresh loaf of bread and have no eggs. I think I'll play some golf this afternoon so will dive into the 4 Square on the way back to buy something interesting for dinner.

"GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD"

It's a crappy day here today with torrential rain so it doesn't look like golf is on the agenda.

I've been lazing around reading and listening to music but thought I'd better make a loaf of bread.

I have two breadmakers.

The Breville Bakers Oven is the original I bought some years ago and that got me enthused in bread making.

This model bakes 1KG and 750gm loaves. I usually use it for the 750gm setting .

The other oven I have is the Sunbeam Bakehouse 4500 which bakes 500gm loaves. I use this when I don't want a larger loaf, or for fruit loaves as it has a neat fruit and nut dispenser fitted.

Today I'm using the Breville for a mixture of Country Grain and Soy and Linseed that I buy in bulk from Binn Inn.

I should have started the bake earlier as it takes about 3 hours and would have been nice to have a fresh bread sandwich with a couple of slices of the meatloaf left over from last night's dinner. Never mind, I'll have a slice or two with dinner.

I have six different bread mixes (from Binn Inn) and a lot of different flours from which I knock up my own blend. To be honest though, the Binn Inn mixes are better.

I like sourdough bread but you can't get a pre-mix for this as you have to start from scratch using a fermented dough mix. It takes a lot longer which is why I've never bothered.

Maybe I'll give it a go some day.

BETTER THAN FASTING

Being locked down isn't a problem if you know how to cook.
Fortunately I and the fellow bloggers in this community know how to cook (although Robert is maybe overly reliant on the use of his pie-maker).

We've got a reasonably stocked pantry, fridge and freezer so making a different and interesting meal each night is easy. We're fortunate though in not having a household full of children which, no doubt is a problem for families who have been, prior to lockdown, used to indulging their kids in takeaways like KFC, McDonalds and Pizza Hut. Often in these cases good home-cooked food isn't liked or wanted by the kids.

On Neighbourly recently I saw an interesting idea from a couple who have three kids. To bribe the kids to behave they promised them one of their favourite takeaway meals.
Fortunately these parents own and run a design business so they downloaded images and logos off the McDonald's website and created cartons, place mats and other items to hold the home-made burgers and chips that they cooked while they sent the kids out of the house. The result was 'Big Mac' type burgers and shoe-string chips that the kids absolutely loved. This was clever and fun.

Thinking of this I went over the types of food we cook at home and, among the more 'serious' meals we make are some nice simple, wholesome and completely home-made versions of fish and chips, tacos, pizzas, pies and other 'meals' that can be bought at fast food outlets. Fried chicken isn't included in our menus as we can't stand that KFC rubbish but I'm sure that others could do so.
Again on Neighbourly I read that some guy had experimented and perfected the 'Colonel's secret coating' for Kentucky Fried chicken and was making it at home.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER

Yesterday when food shopping I went to New World on the other side of town because I wanted to buy a couple of bottles of Taittinger Champagne as it was on special ($20 a bottle off).
The place was crowded - with old people.

I felt right at home but it really pisses me off that old people can't drive or park their supermarket trolleys very well. They leave them in the middle of the aisles, parked at all angles and it's hard to get past the silly old duffers. I don't know how they manage to drive their cars to the shops and park them .... oh. that's right I do ....THE SAME BLOODY WAY!

Anyway, I discovered to my delight that Tuesday was Gold Card day at this supermarket and if you are a gold card holder you get 5% off your groceries (not the wine unfortunately).  Still, every saving helps when you're retired.

In the vegetable and fruit section, when I got to the bananas I could smell them quite strongly. A lot looked a bit manky and it appeared that they'd been pulled out of the warehouse where they'd been sitting for ages under a cloud of preservative gases. On 'release' they quickly deteriorate.

I chose three that looked a bit greener than the others, dithered a bit and was about to put them back when I spied an old woman with her eyes on my bananas (you don't often get to say that). I kept them.

Big mistake.

This morning when having my muesli and blueberries I selected one of the bananas. It was buggered. Into the compost bin it went.
I selected another. This also showed extensive browning but I sliced some of the better bits into my cereal. The third one I left and I'll use this in a tuna and banana toasted sandwich tomorrow if it hasn't entirely rotted away.

I shouldn't have bought these bananas. I knew something was wrong by the smell surrounding the display.
I'd take them back and complain if it wasn't so far to drive.
A tip: Always keep your supermarket receipts as there is invariably a product not up to standard. It's worth making a complaint and getting your money back. Foodstuffs (New World, Pak n Save, Four Square) seem to have a policy of asking if you want a receipt or not. A lot of people think that this is a way of saving paper. I think it's a way of making it difficult to make a claim if something isn't right.

I've learned via Youtube some tricks for keeping vegetables at home but have yet discovered how best to keep bananas (assuming you are sensible and buy ones in good condition at the start).

• Carrots. Clean them and cut off the ends. Put them in a container of water and keep in fridge. They will last for weeks this way.
• Spring onion. Stand in a glass of water and keep in fridge.
• Asparagus, leek, broccoli etc. - ditto
• Salad leaves. Take a large container and line the bottom with a paper towel. Layer half or a third of the leaves (spinach, rocket, salad mix) and cover with a paper towel. Repeat and cover with towel. Put lid on container. Store in fridge. These will be good for a week.

Take it easy out there.